Wait for the Beep (NEM #58)

 

Saturday is back, fulfilling the ancient prophecy and welcoming the cruelest of the old gods: Bilious, the oh god of hangovers.*  If you’re not praying this morning, you didn’t do Friday right—try again tonight, and make me proud!

 

In the meantime, let’s get motivationalish!  Yadda-yada, new people must click the Not Exactly Motivational link to catch up because we don’t let you ask questions otherwise; veteran followers must press the previously negotiated body parts against their webcams before continuing… standard stuff, I promise. 

 

Motivate me!

One… Two…

 

I had every intention of being all better by now, but instead I keep waking up with fresh symptoms… and friends who work in health care are nodding and saying helpful things like, “Has the vomiting started yet?” so I’d like to make one last plea to all parents: please keep your children home at all times, preferably in plastic bubbles, so that they don’t go around wiping their noses on the rest of the world.  Until that day, I’ll just keep telling myself that whiskey fudge will totally work better than anything my stupid doctor gives me. 

 

Side note; I think I’ve finally sorted my whiskey fudge recipe.

 

Rory Gilmore "you go, girl"

Intoxicatingly delicious.

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Safety First (NEM #57)

 

Fair warning: this may be the last ever NEM.  Actually, it may be the last ever post from me on this blog or anywhere.

I am dying.

Oh, sure, the doctor gave me some bullshit antibiotics and claimed the mortality rate from sore throat and epic sinus drainage is quote, “very low,” but who are you going to believe: me or some guy who wastes his weekends at medical conferences?

On the off-chance that I survive, I should continue to protect myself from potential legal action and angry emails from fake lawyers by directing you to the Not Exactly Motivational page.  Unless you’ve already seen that before, in which case you should just go on ahead.  Unless you want to see a picture of the back of my throat, in which case… what’s wrong with you?  But I do have one, because I’ve been showing it to Husband whenever he’s mean to me.*

 

 

Motivate me!