I Just Remembered…


There is a thing that happens around here so often, I forget to mention it to you.


I’m not really going to go into it now, either.


Annoyed reader in front of her laptop in her office

“Then what am I supposed to do?  My job?”



Well, I am, but only in passing and only because this time Husband really blew his lid, and I know how you enjoy that.


Don’t stop now – keep reading!


One Has a Smile… (NEM #75)


Saturday, thank god you’ve finally arrived.  I don’t know how much longer I could have continued to procrastinate and ignore my to-do pile!


Fortunately for you regular readers, Saturday is our day of “motivation,” in which we gather the strength to face the week ahead so that we might continue to do fuck-all.  If this is news to you, please acquaint yourself with the Not Exactly Motivational page—by clicking that link—then meet us back here and every week hereafter.  Probably.  I mean, this is the one thing I haven’t slacked on, but I’ve been warned that past performance isn’t a reliable indicator of potential, so it’s entirely possible that one of these weeks you’ll visit the site to find pictures of babies in flower baskets or some shit. 


Motivate me!

Rainy Day Blues (NEM #74)


The days are getting shorter, yet the weeks aren’t going by any faster.  What kind of bullshit system is that?  We had one cold snap that caused a few trees to change color, then everything leveled out so it doesn’t even look particularly autumnal out there anyway—especially with my lawn-obsessed neighbor who immediately clears every leaf from his yard.  My view is the greenest in the neighborhood, and it’s really killing my seasonal vibe.


You know what I need?  “Motivation!”


Quick refresher: this is a thing, our thing, our super-secret-only-not-really thing that we do every Saturday and have done for over a year now; we call it Not Exactly Motivational and there’s a whole page that explains the history and philosophy, which you can reach by clicking that there link; I do not link to these on the facebook or my twitter, so the only way to find out about it is to actually wander over to the site and click on a Saturday, or to be directed here by someone who thinks you are really cool and have an advanced sense of humor; sharing is encouraged but not mandatory, and even I have been talked into sharing these little horrors on Instagram and Pinterest, but the rest is up to you!  Now, if you’ve already read all about the noble history of NEM and our theme and are aaaalll caught up because this is not your first rodeo, you may click below.  If not, no cheating!  Go back and do it right; we’ll still be here when you get back.


Motivate me!

Happy Fucking Birthday PT 1



The Guessing Game



I don’t know how y’all feel about guessing game posts—having never asked—but I freaking love ‘em.  I feel like it perfectly blends my need to feel superior and knowledgeable with my desire to interact with you more.


I’ve been looking for an opportunity to do another one and when my post about Husband’s birthday ran a little long, I decided it was the perfect guessing fodder.

gold mario ? mystery box


But what to have you guess?


Should I have you guess what he got?


Should I have you guess why he’s the absolute worst to shop for?


So many options.


Okay, here’s what we’ll do.  Advanced option for the devoted long-time fans: guess both the gift and why he’s the worst.  Skip ahead to the comments right now, without reading anything else.  The rest of you, go ahead and read on for more clues.  If at any time you decide you’ve got it all figured out, get thee to the comments.


Don’t stop now – keep reading!