The Christmas Cheat

 

Today, for many of you, is Boxing Day—the day after Christmas Day. 

 

However, I must write to you from the past, because I am still christmassing just that hard

 

Come up to my level, will you?

 

Martha May Whovier (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)

 

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Ah, Faaaaaamily

 

‘Tis the season, friends.

 

'Tis the season for balls (brainlesstales.com)

Well, yes.  But also…

 

I’m writing to you from my favorite spot in the whole house—three and a half feet from a tree that looks like it stepped out of a Macy’s window to spend the season with us—wearing jingle bell earrings and a jingle bell bracelet and a jingle bell necklace,* because if you don’t jingle all the way you’re not Christmassing hard enough and you don’t get eggnog shakes with cookie dough vodka in. 

 

cookie dough vodka

Yas plz.

 

Them’s the rules.

 

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What’s in the Box???

 

This Christmas has been especially hectic for me—for reasons I hope to reveal very soon—and I confess I’ve left myself very little time for blogging, blog reading, or any of the other blog-related things I usually do all week long.  Instead, I’ve been picking time’s pocket, pilfering stray minutes to get my Christmas cards out (yeah, that happened so embarrassingly late that no international cards could go out this year), paint uncooperative teenagers for the school play (then spending hours after trimming green out of my cuticles, because when you use the cheap stuff it stains),  wrangle Husband and Offspring into their Christmas shopping because they keep thinking they’ve got weeks left to go (they manifestly do not), and do 100% of my shopping online because I don’t have time to leave the house for anything that isn’t one of the 87 bajillion errands that crop up each day. 

 

All of this to say I’m about to get lazy on your asses.  I’m going to recycle material.

 

recycled content icon

Don’t think of it as lazy; think of it as environmentally friendly.

 

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Volumptuous Peeohple

 

I feel like this is the season for bonding, so I’m going to tell you an important step to going from Acquaintance, Person I Like, or Person Who Is Allowed to Buy Me Coffee to WE ARE FRIENDS NOW.

 

 

You gotta be willing to hate along with me.  And you’ve got to be on board with my reasons.

 

Mean Girls "you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong

 

Now, this is not a requirement for fans, so if your goal is to continue to read my blogs and have me love you to bits for reading the words that I blurt out into the ether, don’t stress this next bit. But if you want to actually sit next to me while I drink that coffee, or really just keep up with my in-person conversations?

 

Yeah, this is a thing.

 

This is how my friend Audrey learned the rule:

 

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