It is a known fact that the only thing guaranteed to clear the room faster than Taco Bell farts is an enthusiastic retelling of the amazing dream you had last night.*
The Christmas tree is finally down, but I’m pretty sure if I spin this right I can get a doctor’s note to let me leave it up year ‘round—or at least much longer—next year.
There are a handful of movies coming in 2019 that will be getting this treatment, but I can’t say I’m as excited about any of them as I was for Glass.* And despite a poorly-timed release** I came away happy.
I also feel sorry for all of you! Because you didn’t get to see all the incredible deleted scenes, and I feel like they really add something—don’t they always?
Here then are my favorite deleted scenes from Glass, probably in no particular order… although I make no promises because frankly I’m getting hangry and you know how I get when I’m hangry.
Having spent much of 2018 half-assing this planner thing I was fully prepared, throughout the month of December, to abandon the experiment in 2019. After all, I reasoned, these new good habits are mine and I’ve been holding myself accountable long enough now that I don’t need to see it written down on a piece of paper to keep plugging away, right?
My friends, this blog is in serious trouble.
Husband and I—the people you’ve come to rely on as your semi-weekly sources of wit and dazzling conversation—are getting to be really really astonishingly boring.
Let’s start today with something good: I have a clean front door—no gross sign!
The inspection was actually before Christmas, but there was a lot going on at the same time and what with one thing and another I didn’t get around to telling you. Partly because—in the manner we’ve come to expect from Sham Property Management Inc, LLC—even after the house “passed” and everything was “done” the final step took for goddamned ever.
I’ve got some possible Meth Ghost news to get to, so I won’t bore you with the details.*
Because I am a delightful mass of contradictions, no one can predict which technologies I will embrace the instant they are available and which ones I will shun until a loved one drags me, kicking and screaming, into the century of the fruitbat.*
Example: though I complain about delays of microseconds** everywhere else in my life, I will beta test any game that appeals even a little bit. I also howled in frustration when my phone wasn’t one of the first hundred or so delivered. But I only agreed to download the goddamned parking meter app because A) the meter charged my card double the day before and B) I forgot my wallet and it was my turn to pay for parking again. No choice there, and I was getting shame for not having already done it.
Also, I only just got an Echo for Christmas.