Captain Marvel: My Favorite DELETED SCENES

 

Captan Marvel poster featuring Captain Marvel, Nick Fury, and Yon-Rogg against a backdrop of futuristic cities, modern human jets, and explosions in space

 

Set aside your fears of girl power* and grunge, because the time has come to reveal my favorite deleted scenes from Captain Marvel, a film which features:

 

 

 

As always, these are deleted scenes, so if you haven’t seen the film yet (totally understandable, I won’t judge… unless you wait another week, then I’m judging you like woah) you won’t find any spoilers here.

 

I still haven’t forgiven Jake for spoiling The Force Awakens;*** I would never do that to you.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

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Umami

 

Our actual anniversary is in December, which is perfect for us because of my love for the holiday season, hot chocolate, and letting other people throw my party.*

Courtney Cox saying, "I can't say 'no' to tequila"

It would be rude.

But spring—according to some dead poets—is the season of rebirth and romance.  I’ve never noticed, because I have eyeballs and can see that the trees are still bare and everything is dripping, but maybe all the Great Poets are blind?**

 

Regardless, spring is more or less here and I—in the spring of my fifteenth year of marriage to a man who tricked me into marrying him—am realizing I still don’t know him at all.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Flat Earth

 

One of our favorite things—which you’d probably never guess unless you really know us—is stupid people and the shit they do for our entertainment.

 

Specifically, we will mockwatch* conspiracy shows,** documentaries about epic failure… whatever Netflix generously provides for our consumption.  (And it’s a lot.  Someone go thank them for all the good work they do—I’m busy drunk watching some bridezilla bitches scream about sequins)

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

What’s With Today?

 

stenciled spray paint on white wall: THIS SPACE HAS BEEN NTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

 

Some of you will by now have noticed that I don’t have the usual scheduled post up today, and well done you—you’re ready for that detective badge, just march in and take it!  

 

Yes, I have noticed that it’s Friday but I’ve also had a shit week and things are weird around here and I’m just not up for it so this is what you’ve got.  Me, here, saying, “halloo, I’ve had a shit week so can I take a pass?  Thanks.”  

 

I’ll see you next week.  Same bat time, same bat channel.  Promise.