Move over, Elizabeth Taylor.*
I don’t want to brag,* but I’m pretty good at this marriage thing.
In fact, I’ve found a way to win any argument with my husband. It doesn’t matter what he’s got on me, either; he’s powerless against this comeback.
You want to know what it is, don’t you. Well, good thing for you I’m feeling generous.
I hate to hit y’all with a downer, but you know what? I figure maybe someone else out there (who also happens to read this blog, so it’s a pretty small cross-section) is going through the same shit and needs to hear this:
Sarcasm is a vital component to a healthy marriage. I contend that sarcasm is second only to arguing in terms of keeping your relationship fresh; indeed, a well-placed bit of snark can jump-start an argument almost as quickly as a call from your bank’s fraud prevention department.
ME: I mean, obviously I’m not saying you used the debit card to pay hookers-
ME: That’s all on me, because I never carry cash
HIM: Yeah, they always insist on cash from me.
Recently, a friend referred to me as “The Harbinger of Christmas Spirit,” and I’ve decided that’s my official title now. Please address mail accordingly.
You still don’t actually know us all that well, so let me tell you who we are: