The Secret

 

I’m here today to illustrate for you the difference between us and so-called “normal” couples. 

Debbie Reynolds promises, "Being normal is vastly overrated"

 

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How to Decide: It’s Easy as 5-2-1

 

One of the most common debates for married couples—right above whose in-laws are worse, and with arguably higher stakes—is “What shall we have for dinner?”

 

In less advanced marriages, this can spiral into an hour or more of “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” on and on until someone caves and forces an idea forth.  Or stabs their partner—I don’t know how you resolve stalemates in your house.  My point is, we don’t let that one get out of control around here because we have a foolproof system.

 

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Sarcasm is the Language of Love

 

Sarcasm is a vital component to a healthy marriage.  I contend that  sarcasm is second only to arguing in terms of keeping your relationship fresh; indeed, a well-placed bit of snark can jump-start an argument almost as quickly as a call from your bank’s fraud prevention department.

 

ME:  I mean, obviously I’m not saying you used the debit card to pay hookers-
HIM:  nope!
ME:  That’s all on me, because I never carry cash
HIM:  Yeah, they always insist on cash from me.

 

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