What a Crock(pot)

 

Sometimes I worry that you think I’m only this way with him; that I can behave like a normal adult person out in public, but he somehow presses my adolescent-humor-plus-toddler-attention-span button.

 

Deepika Padukone nope reaction

 

 

Please know that this is not the case. 

 

To prove it to you, let me tell you this year’s Saga of Crock Pots.

 

storybook

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

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Aaaalll By Myself

 

all by myself

 

Day One go off to a GREAT start, you guys. Seriously. Stellar.

I got lost on my way to the grocery store. The one right by my house, the one I go to all the goddamned time. I was maybe a mile away from home and suddenly I was taking a wrong turn and found myself on that weird circular street in my town that just goes around and around the circular park. (There’s an egg-shaped park, too, but I don’t think it was that one)
So I pulled over and asked my phone to help me find the nice place with the people who have the carrot muffins and the good yogurt, and the instructions were: “Take your third left; your destination is right in front of you.”

Bitchy phone, getting smart with me when I’m tired.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!