There’s ALWAYS a Worse Flight

 

Why are you getting a Thursday post this week?  Because if you’re too busy fighting with your racist uncle to Internet today you’ll see it just fine on Friday, and I want to reward those of you who are refusing to engage with family today.

 

You are the real heroes.

 

Note for Canadians and other non-US persons: This post is mostly for YOU.  Because I know you’re sick of the entire internet being about our gluttonous holiday.[1]

roasted turkey twerking as gravy is poured over its ample bottom

Offspring escapes Afghanistan this week.  This means I was forced to go days without hearing from him at all whilst he quickly handed off vital information to the next team[2] and I quietly[3] prepared for the holidays, but it also got me thinking back to when he left.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

It’s Gotta Be The Sand

 

While my weird hours leave me almost no time for Husband, they do make it much more convenient for me to chat with Offspring; I’m not staying up for him anymore, if anything he’s staying up for me.

 

Which means I’ve got more info on the life of PFC Squdgee Booboo than I do on your favorite engineer.

 

And I’m sure you won’t be surprised which one is currently experiencing overwhelming job dissatisfaction.

army meme: Jumps out of a perfectly good aircraft with a parachute packed by a 19 year old; forced to wear a reflective belt while raking dirt. (pair of soldiers raking dirt in hi-vis safety belts)

 

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“Reassuring”

 

I would like to address this comment, to which I did not reply directly because I was busy accumulating evidence.

Comment on this blog: "And yet no matter how hard I try and reassure you, you always seem to get more stressed. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? Nah. I can't be wrong."

Yep, that’s him.

 

Now, I saw that comment and had to laugh; that’s my little smartass, doing his level best to make me look like the crazy overprotective mother[1].

 

Which gives me all the excuse I need to tell you just how reassuring he’s been these past weeks since his arrival at Fabulous Bagram, Afghanistan.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

First Class Mistake

When last I left you, I was not going to be a sky pirate captain because my husband is a quitter—a died-in-the-wool giver-upper who never supports my dreams.

Angelina Jolie (Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow) in her black uniform and eyepatch, on the deck of her skyship, against a background of clouds and skyscrapers

I’d have had a better hat, though.

I am, as it happens, still not a sky pirate captain.
I am, however, a person who has literally paid for a hotel by the hour, (though I’m sure the good people at Ramada don’t advertise this service) upgraded herself out of the best flight ever, and—because I love you—snapped a photo of the most mockable woman in all of Georgia.
Here’s what happened:

Don’t stop now – keep reading!