It Begins…


I’m about to hit Publish on part one of the promised updates, but I wanted to offer one last explanation/warning before you read on:


Shit gets heavy, and I’m sorry about that.  Also, I do not approach my grief, the family drama, or anyone’s illness with the reverence or dignity that some people would likely prefer.  If you are one of those people, you are encouraged to skip the next few posts and wait for me to give an official All Clear announcement.  I will make inappropriate jokes here because I made them in hospital rooms to actual sick people.  Because that’s who I am.  I make no apologies for it.


I don’t know how many parts the “catch up series” will take; I thought I did, when I started, but I just had to take an emotional health break from part 4 (I was shaking and it got too hard) and I haven’t even explained something I meant to get to in the first one so… we’ll see?  Then again, I might find that I can wrap it all up quickly once I get past that worst bit.  Who knows?  Anyway, read ’em, don’t read ’em, binge ’em when they’re all up… you do you.  I just need to purge and keep the blogging muscles toned and this is my compromise.


One last point: this is not a work of fiction.  There is no clear hero, nor a villain.  There are people I love, people I loathe, and most often they are the same damned person.  Sometimes I fuck up, because the fact that it’s my story doesn’t mean I always make the right choices.  Relationships will seem complicated, confusing, and you may find yourself asking, “wait… doesn’t she hate him/her?”  Please understand that the answer to that question is complicated and ever-evolving and even I don’t have all the up-to-the minute answers.  Motives are murky, and I’m left puzzling over questions of personal gain and thought processes more than once.  But that’s life, you know?

Hand Emojis


Once upon a time, in the earliest days of the Facebook page, Husband was so enamored of seeing his own words mocked immortalized on the internet that he would deliberately say ridiculous things to provoke a reaction, immediately followed by an eager, “Is that going on the page?”


These days, he’s gone a bit shy.


black-and-white "shy guy" from Super Mario Bros. games

Ten cool points if you got this reference.


Don’t stop now – keep reading!

2017 Year In Review


It’s 2018!  Holy shit, we’re more than halfway through the first quarter of the 21st century!  Time is just flying, and—it must be said—some of you are getting old.


Not me, of course, but some of you.  Which is weird for me to watch, but I’m trying to be gracious about it.  Me, I just throw things at Offspring when I’m blaring Aerosmith (kitchen cleanup goes so much nicer with a classic rock playlist—try it!) and he says, “This is Nirvanna, right?”  Then he says we wouldn’t have this argument if I’d listen to music less than 150 years old, and I remind him who taught him to love Meatloaf and Bon Jovi and we agree to a truce because it’s not possible to keep fighting while you’re belting out Living on a Prayer.


LOTR Boromir meme "One does not simply stop singing Livin' on a Prayer"



Where were we?  Riiiight… 2018.  which means that 2017 is officially behind us—yay!


And that means… drumroll… It’s time for me to pile together all those weird and wonderful search terms people used to find my humble little humor blog (I have to mention, periodically, that it is a humor blog, because that’s the only way WordPress knows; apparently you have to use the keyword, because having a humor blog is just like having a yoga blog—you use the word a lot, and that’s what your blog is about.   Humor.  Funny.)  Actually, I sorted them into an Excel list, and then picked through the rubbish for the humor gold, but you get the idea.  Here then are my favorite ways people found us last year.  Starting with the most popular Google result:


Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Laugh and He Laughs Alone


First off, before I even start, I have to confess that I pester Husband about this blog.  It’s not required reading or anything, but I know he reads so I like to know the very instant he’s read a post so I can get his feedback. 



"I'm sittin' in my cahir, relaxing, getting blackout drunk, and you're leaving me alone" (from Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Poor him… not how it goes down.


Which, yeah, maybe sounds annoying.  But I do it for yoooouuu!


Because sometimes, y’all, his feedback is just so… so exactly what this blog is for that I have to share it with you.


Don’t stop now – keep reading!

2016 Year in Review—Search Terms


I’ve complained in the past of my frustration with “unknown search terms.”  To be clear, this is still the bane of my existence.  Whatever you are doing to keep me from seeing how you got to my blog, STAHP! 


I gots to know!

Internet Friends don’t keep secrets from each other!


But I put away search terms for a good long while—mostly because my hair was falling out from the stress—and only recently looked through them again.  


I’m not sure how I feel about what I’ve found, to be honest, but I know filler material when I see it. 


Here, then, are the top (humorous) search terms used to find this blog in 2016.


Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Popping the Question


There are questions never asked here, and I want you all to know that I do appreciate your restraint, your apparent faith in me.   There is, however, one question that I get asked in real life that I feel is best addressed here (no, it has nothing to do with managing my staggering sex appeal – seems everyone just assumes I’m completely oblivious to my effect on others); strangely, the question is about this blog, even though, as I’ve alluded a mere eight commas ago (shut up, I do not run-on, it’s called a complex sentence, and the count is now eleven) it’s never asked by anyone who actually follows this blog.

Don’t stop now – keep reading!