Potato Potantso

 

This is how little sense he makes: he actually believes that grocery shopping is fundamentally different from grocery shopping.

 

I know, right?  I mean… honestly, I deserve some sort of award for putting up with that sort of lunacy day in and day out for as long as I have.

golden cup-style trophy with the word SHIT etched in; plaque reads, "in recognition for all the shit you put up with"

Do you have one full of chocolates instead?

 

 

Thankfully I have you, and you agree with me, so that’s alright then.

woman raises hand, confused expression, says, "wait, what was that?"

 

I see we have some new readers with us today.  Doubters.  People who haven’t been with us on this long journey and therefore will demand an explanation.  Fine, I’ll catch you up.  But for the dedicated reader, go ahead and skip to the bottom—I’ll leave something fun down there just for you, since I know you understand me without having to slog through all this.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

I Just Remembered…

 

There is a thing that happens around here so often, I forget to mention it to you.

 

I’m not really going to go into it now, either.

 

Annoyed reader in front of her laptop in her office

“Then what am I supposed to do?  My job?”

 

 

Well, I am, but only in passing and only because this time Husband really blew his lid, and I know how you enjoy that.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Cereal Drama

 

As previously mentioned, Husband and I tried shopping together again.  I know, I swore we wouldn’t.  And we don’t, honestly, for all the reasons you already know about… but this was Costco, and if you’ve ever been then you know that it’s just not possible to do that place alone.  Sure, you walk in with a plan and you’re only going to grab bread and canned tomatoes and ground buffalo, but then the guy with the TV’s stops you and he’s not wrong—they’re huge, and the picture quality is amazing, and it wouldn’t hurt to stop and look—but you’re smarter than that so you duck down the nearest aisle and find yourself surrounded by composite flooring samples as far as the eye can see.  Where is the food?  Miles away, and you’ve still got to get past the piles of books if you want to see produce, so good luck getting out before hunger sets in.

 

costco alcohol section

There are worse places to be stranded.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

(More) Scenes From A Shop

 

Picture me, ass in the air, head and shoulders buried deep in a display of cereal boxes.  Muttering, cursing, “Give it up, you bitch… ah-hah!  Got one!”  I pass a box of Count Chocula behind me, waving it impatiently and call out, “There’s another one coming!” and barely feel the box lifted from my fingers before I tuck back in, yanking and heaving, ignoring the papercuts and the awful things happening to my hair because by God I won’t be denied.  I emerge, triumphant, and hold the last box of cocoa-y goodness aloft, turning around to face… a woman I have never seen before in my entire life.

Don’t stop now – keep reading!