Where I Am

 

I have news.

 

Big news.  NEWSY news. 

megaphone held against blackboard displaying the words "breaking news"

 

Actually, most of you won’t or wouldn’t care about it one way or another but it’s a major life update and will be informing like, all the things for a while so I have to tell you.

 

But I can’t just come out and tell you!  That would be normal.  Boring!  The well-traveled path of mediocrity which, we have established, shall never know the kiss of my Sketchers,* requires blurting and therefore I will not blurt.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Happy Fucking Birthday PT 1

 

 

The Guessing Game

 

 

I don’t know how y’all feel about guessing game posts—having never asked—but I freaking love ‘em.  I feel like it perfectly blends my need to feel superior and knowledgeable with my desire to interact with you more.

 

I’ve been looking for an opportunity to do another one and when my post about Husband’s birthday ran a little long, I decided it was the perfect guessing fodder.

gold mario ? mystery box

 

But what to have you guess?

 

Should I have you guess what he got?

 

Should I have you guess why he’s the absolute worst to shop for?

 

So many options.

 

Okay, here’s what we’ll do.  Advanced option for the devoted long-time fans: guess both the gift and why he’s the worst.  Skip ahead to the comments right now, without reading anything else.  The rest of you, go ahead and read on for more clues.  If at any time you decide you’ve got it all figured out, get thee to the comments.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!