Easter Happened (Yes, Really)


You know that thing where he claims this blog is all about me as though he’s never read the title or any of the posts?

"yeah, but..." sort of raised eyebrow/head tilt expression


I’m fed up, and about to disprove his bullshit theory once and for all by posting a conversation that’s nothing to do with me because I wasn’t even there.  HA!


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Fifth Day of Christmas Update


I know you’re all anxious for a Christmas update.  But first, I think it’s important that you know something about the person you’re talking to.


I’m still an early riser on Christmas Day.


child jumping on bed Christmas morning

Inner me.


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Ah, Faaaaaamily


‘Tis the season, friends.


'Tis the season for balls (brainlesstales.com)

Well, yes.  But also…


I’m writing to you from my favorite spot in the whole house—three and a half feet from a tree that looks like it stepped out of a Macy’s window to spend the season with us—wearing jingle bell earrings and a jingle bell bracelet and a jingle bell necklace,* because if you don’t jingle all the way you’re not Christmassing hard enough and you don’t get eggnog shakes with cookie dough vodka in. 


cookie dough vodka

Yas plz.


Them’s the rules.


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What’s in the Box???


This Christmas has been especially hectic for me—for reasons I hope to reveal very soon—and I confess I’ve left myself very little time for blogging, blog reading, or any of the other blog-related things I usually do all week long.  Instead, I’ve been picking time’s pocket, pilfering stray minutes to get my Christmas cards out (yeah, that happened so embarrassingly late that no international cards could go out this year), paint uncooperative teenagers for the school play (then spending hours after trimming green out of my cuticles, because when you use the cheap stuff it stains),  wrangle Husband and Offspring into their Christmas shopping because they keep thinking they’ve got weeks left to go (they manifestly do not), and do 100% of my shopping online because I don’t have time to leave the house for anything that isn’t one of the 87 bajillion errands that crop up each day. 


All of this to say I’m about to get lazy on your asses.  I’m going to recycle material.


recycled content icon

Don’t think of it as lazy; think of it as environmentally friendly.


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Notes From a Food Coma


We all have our holiday traditions—eyerolling, drinking, overeating, and vowing next year will be different somehow are popular ones—but looking back, I seem to have acquired a new Thanksgiving tradition: blogging the recap.


Hey, life of a blogger = no secrets, right?  Well, I’m not going to give you the blow-by-blow, but there were some… moments.


cornucopia centerpiece

I keep thinking I’ll do one of these, but then I remember my Thanksgiving rule: the table is for FOOD.


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Holi(all the)days


The actual, Officially-Sanctioned-By-People-Who-Are-Not-Me Holiday Season is approaching.


Turkey yelling at Santa to wait his turn

Who made this bullshit “one holiday per month” rule?



My holidays began last month, of course, and I’m still riding the haunting buzz.



HIM:  (resting on heating pad)
ME:  (climbs onto bed, grabs phone)
HIM:  (smiles)
ME:  Boo.
HIM:  Aaaah.
ME:  (smirks)  Still got it.
HIM:  (laughs)


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