A Shower Warrior is Me

 

When I disappear from this site, it won’t be because I won the lottery.

 

It will be because the spiders finally got me.

 

horror flick woman screams as spiders descend

 

And he did nothing to stop it.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

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Good Morning, House Demon

 

Remember that thing I told you, about how he drives like his father?  Well, like almost nothing I write here, I conveyed that information because it was important.* 

 

Husband, along with his many adorable quirks, has a crazy-making, fascist obsession with the lights.  The very idea that, somewhere in the house, a light is on with nobody around to see it makes him twitch.  This is especially baffling for me because, as he himself admits, any given light bulb draws a ridiculously tiny amount of power.  Seriously, my choice to leave the light on over the basement steps for a few hours costs us maybe 1.5 cents every night. 

 

He’s done the math.

Don’t stop now – keep reading!