A Tale of Two Dicks

 

It is an established fact that all cats are assholes.  This is their baseline personality, their resting state, if you will.

 

cat calmly walks up to horse, then leaps up to grab genitals; horse panics

Proof.

 

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Everybody Out of the Pool!

 

Summer has officially arrived. 

wizard of oz cast melting in summer heat

That magical time of year when I finally stop bitching about the cold… to bitch about the humidity.

 

I know this because my son is home all day now, which means daytime sex with my dreamy husband is but a memory.  It also means that we don’t have to deal with all his school shit, but I’m thinking now that I’d trade all that to not have him kicking around the house all summer. 

 

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One… Two…

 

I had every intention of being all better by now, but instead I keep waking up with fresh symptoms… and friends who work in health care are nodding and saying helpful things like, “Has the vomiting started yet?” so I’d like to make one last plea to all parents: please keep your children home at all times, preferably in plastic bubbles, so that they don’t go around wiping their noses on the rest of the world.  Until that day, I’ll just keep telling myself that whiskey fudge will totally work better than anything my stupid doctor gives me. 

 

Side note; I think I’ve finally sorted my whiskey fudge recipe.

 

Rory Gilmore "you go, girl"

Intoxicatingly delicious.

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