A Fragrant Palm

 

I don’t remember which trip to Colorado it was, but since at this point all of them have sort of blurred together I suppose it doesn’t matter—and at any rate, the timing isn’t the point.  The point is, I came home, made a spontaneous trip to Home Depot for… something?  (Again, the actual purpose of the errand is irrelevant) and came home with a Majesty Palm tree.

 

Because I have no sense of proportion.

 

I don’t know what came over me, I just saw her there and she had to come home with me.

potted palm tree in front of glass doors

Her name is Madge

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

WTB Farm

 

I have plenty of complaints—and the usual Actual Conversation,™ but first I need to update you on a critical issue.

 

One I’m sure—if you’re a regular around here—has been on your mind of late.  Probably keeping you from working (you’re welcome) or even getting a good night’s sleep (I’m sorry).

 

Because I know you’ve been deeply concerned for a certain member of my family.

 

John Stewart (hosting The Daily Show) eating popcorn while he stares, wide-eyed, at something

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

My Brain Ferrets are Garden Weasels

 

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I’ve been on a bit of a bender lately.

 

Left: a purple calla lily plant; right: a cluster of small succulents.

My latest victims

 

 

High on Clara’s remarkable good health I went out and bought myself a plant that looked pretty but would have killed my pets.  He lives outside right now—remind me to check that he’s not toxic to bunnies, yikes.  Fresh on the heels of that near-miss, we were browsing Home Depot ( we might have actually been looking for mulch or weed killer or something else that goes outside—I really don’t pay any attention to the outside plants and they seem to appreciate it) when I saw a whole section of little potted things that promised they were easy to care for. 

 

You grow shit now!” my brain-ferrets yipped, pouncing and nipping in their excitement.

Uhh… You sure ‘bout dat, hoss?  Because—

And the brain ferrets were all, “SO FUCKING SURE!  THIS IS WHAT YOU NEEEEEEEED!”

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Call Me Doomfinger

 

Everyone’s aware I’ve had a rough time of it lately, yeah?  I mean, I don’t need to go into all the reasons I can’t handle even one more thing going wrong right now—you just understand, because you’ve been following along and you get me, right?

 

Y’all, Clara started dropping leaves.

 

keyboard with PANIC! key

 

What’s worse, the lovely people who gave her to me have moved away. 

 

What’s that?  You don’t see how that’s relevant?  Clearly you’ve forgotten my many issues surrounding gifts.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!