FUBAR

 

(from The Cell Block Tango scene in Chicago) six convicted murderesses dance and strut behind bars in revealing dance costumes, each spotlit and singing; text reads, "He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame"

Against everyone’s better judgment and Husband’s clearly expressed wishes, I’ve been watching that Netflix series Killer Women.  Piers Morgan goes and interviews inmates (ladies, titularly*) convicted of murder as well as all other concerned parties who will agree to at least five or six words, profanity excluded.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Advertisements

Name That Tune

 

Relationships are at their best when they are changing, evolving.  A stagnant relationship gives both parties a chance to get bored, and bored people tend to notice how unrelentingly irritating the person they live with really is.

 

Noticing shit, according to a recent report by lawyers who probably don’t exist, is the leading cause of divorce.

professional woman points out items on contract to out-of-focus client in foreground

“We can absolutely bring up the pillow drool if you want, and I don’t doubt the judge will consider it… but if we do, she’ll DEFINITELY mention the skid marks.”

 

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

What I Do For Him

 

I make a thing out of Husband and his nerdery* around here, so it would be the easiest thing for you** to assume that I never share in his nonsense.  You might (quite reasonably!) assume that I am never the one to nerd all over our lunch date conversation, or make a terrible joke.

 

You might also assume that I didn’t eat a pound and a half of grapes yesterday, but then you’d be wrong about two things.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

As Mature as I Get

 

In mentioning that I’ve been married for 14 years, that my son can now vote* and is bringing his girlfriend home for Christmas—

 

Oh, did I not mention that bit?  Because that’s happening.  But you’re distracting me and that’s not the point either!

 

Yes, I’m nervous.  So nervous.  Oh my fucking lord above you have no idea how nervous.  And every time I think about how nervous I am, I buy her another present.  I haven’t wrapped any of them yet, either, so it’s all a clusterfuck.  THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.

stressed woman wrapping Christmas gifts

Ahem.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!