Potato Potantso

 

This is how little sense he makes: he actually believes that grocery shopping is fundamentally different from grocery shopping.

 

I know, right?  I mean… honestly, I deserve some sort of award for putting up with that sort of lunacy day in and day out for as long as I have.

golden cup-style trophy with the word SHIT etched in; plaque reads, "in recognition for all the shit you put up with"

Do you have one full of chocolates instead?

 

 

Thankfully I have you, and you agree with me, so that’s alright then.

woman raises hand, confused expression, says, "wait, what was that?"

 

I see we have some new readers with us today.  Doubters.  People who haven’t been with us on this long journey and therefore will demand an explanation.  Fine, I’ll catch you up.  But for the dedicated reader, go ahead and skip to the bottom—I’ll leave something fun down there just for you, since I know you understand me without having to slog through all this.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

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2018 Gift Guide For the Rest of Us

 

I don’t know about the rest of the world (blame the public school system for that) but here in the US Thanksgiving is behind us and the holiday shopping season is in full swing. 

 

Now, the internet is going to be full of advice for you: where to find the best sales, 10 Reasons to Do All Your Holiday Shopping Online, 7 Reasons to Get Out of the House and Shop Local, reminders that pets are forever and don’t make good gifts, etc.  It’s the same shit every year, isn’t it?

 

There will also be loads of gift guides out there for people you don’t really have any difficulty buying for: Dad, caffeine addict, film buff; or for people you don’t actually have in your life: the wine expert, the world traveler, the modern art collector.

 

None of that here.  How ‘bout a gift guide for the people you wish you didn’t have to buy a gift for?

stressed woman wrapping Christmas gifts

Jingle ALL the way!

Or “Buying Stuff”

 

It is a fact universally acknowledged that husbands—not men, mind you, but husbands, who must hold purses and sit in designated creepy chairs or husband playpens—hate shopping.

 

 

Husband contends that the actual issue is that he sees no reason to shop, ever; I shop, he claims, while he buys things.

 

But, whatever the reason—and I’m sure we can agree it can’t possibly be anything to do with my sunny self—I’ve begun to suspect he’s particularly reluctant to shop with me.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Man Panties

 

We’ve been over the shopping thing, and the reasons why he doesn’t take me with him.  You’re all familiar with his rules and how boring he makes shopping, and his aversion to awesome, and you know as well as I do that he only complains about my presence and the things I do when I’m there. 

 

Brace yourselves, because I just got in trouble for not being there.

Oprah is stunned, confused, speechless

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!