My Nightmare Husband

(Pulp Fiction) Bruce Willis startles awake out of a nightmare, sweating and dressed for his boxing match
It is a known fact that the only thing guaranteed to clear the room faster than Taco Bell farts is an enthusiastic retelling of the amazing dream you had last night.*


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I Can’t Sleep With Duke Ellington

 

confused man looking up

Where is she going with this?

 

Those of you who are not married to engineers don’t really understand what it is to live with one.  Moreover, I’m not sure you can fully appreciate just how different their brains are from normal brains. 

But it’s okay, because I have, right here, a story that will explain – in the example format you so love – exactly what sets the bulk of humanity here and engineers somewhere way over there.

 

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Gone in 90 Seconds

 

In the midst of all the Halloweening, I totally forgot to mention that we got the results of Husband’s sleep study!

 

Oh, it was a glorious day.  And not only because I figured out how to make my phone do some cool new tricks: it now silences a call when I flip it screen-down, wakes up immediately when I pick it up from a table (no swipe to unlock!) and immediately goes to sleep if I set it screen-down on a table.

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Barking Mad


We’ve reached a summer détente on the blanket issue: husband gets both comforters because I only want the sheet.  It’s gotten too hot at night for anything else.

 

legs in too hot, one leg out just right... but the Monster!

At least the monster never steals my pillow.

 

That doesn’t keep him from heaping the blankets on me throughout the night, so that I wake up sweating and have to toss them back over to his side.  But he’s been unable to cry “blanket thief” because I react too quickly.

 

HA!

 

So what’s his new plan?  Oh, he’s got one.

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