WTB Farm

 

I have plenty of complaints—and the usual Actual Conversation,™ but first I need to update you on a critical issue.

 

One I’m sure—if you’re a regular around here—has been on your mind of late.  Probably keeping you from working (you’re welcome) or even getting a good night’s sleep (I’m sorry).

 

Because I know you’ve been deeply concerned for a certain member of my family.

 

John Stewart (hosting The Daily Show) eating popcorn while he stares, wide-eyed, at something

 

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Artificial Sadism Explained

 

I just want to note that nobody—not one of you—asked if I got to the airport safely.

SUV's driving five-abreast can't negotiate a turn and roll down the embankment, one bursting into flames (from The Simpsons) Caption reads, (tires screeching) (people screaming)

 

I mean, obviously I did, but… where’s the love?

 

Especially since, according to the demon box, my city has been under a flood warning every single day for almost two weeks.*

 

But the drive itself was uneventful.

 

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Actual Conversations With Alexa

 

Because I am a delightful mass of contradictions, no one can predict which technologies I will embrace the instant they are available and which ones I will shun until a loved one drags me, kicking and screaming, into the century of the fruitbat.*

 

Example: though I complain about delays of microseconds** everywhere else in my life, I will beta test any game that appeals even a little bit.  I also howled in frustration when my phone wasn’t one of the first hundred or so delivered.  But I only agreed to download the goddamned parking meter app because A) the meter charged my card double the day before and B) I forgot my wallet and it was my turn to pay for parking again.  No choice there, and I was getting shame for not having already done it.

 

Also, I only just got an Echo for Christmas.

 

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#WeWokeUpLikeThis

 

First, I have to tell you that he bit the bullet (just before the deadline) and “upgraded” to Windows 10.  So now there are two of us in the house who occasionally scream “God dammit Windows 10!” while praying that our progress was saved recently.  (It rarely is.)

 

"something happened" error

No shit.

 

HIM:  I’ve got the Windows 10 upgrade running today.
ME:  I didn’t realize you were still running 7.  And I didn’t realize they were doing a free upgrade for 7, I thought it was just 8.
HIM:  Nope, it’s 7 and 8.
ME:  But only 7 and 8?
HIM:  Yeah, Windows 9 users are shit outta luck.
ME:  That’s not –
HIM:  (laughing)

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