The Real Me

 

Being a person who sees the humor in everything, and can laugh at just about any situation, I read a lot of humor—both because I’ll find the funny bits of something that is only incidentally funny and because I seek out the writings of funny people.  Thus I often find myself wondering what it must be like to know them personally; I imagine their spouse must constantly be in stitches, their friends and family must tell everyone that they know just the funniest person alive, etc.

Robin Williams and his animated Disney character, the Genie, smile back to back

Sort of like how kids assumed Robin Williams was basically Genie in real life, minus some of the magic.

 

This explains why I resisted blogging for so long, and resisted the idea of calling it a humor blog for longer still: in my mind a humor writer was someone who must be dazzling in person, always “on,” entertaining in every moment and aspect of their lives.  The sort of person who couldn’t go for a drink without having an adventure, who would go for a walk and end up in the wrong country.   

 

You know how it turned out, because you’re here: at the nagging insistence of a few beloved friends, I did the thing and here we are and you know I’m glad.  But… I still worry that I’m not quite in the mold, you know?

 

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Rapture 2018: A Fish Named Doom

 

We’re jumping right in today because there’s not a lot of time left before we die and also because I want you to experience a thing that happened exactly as Husband experienced it.  You know, for a nice change of pace.

Christina Miller (Ellie on Cougar Town) proclaims "Change approved!"

 

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URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED

 

Quickly, because this is kind of urgent: am I required to wear actual clothes to a belated holiday/new year’s party?  I’ve got one last excuse to wear jingle bells and glitter coming up—because my friend Audrey totally gets me and is almost as bad at calendaring* as I am—and Husband and I were just discussing what I could reasonably get away with wearing.

 

light-up christmas tree hat with pom-pom ornaments

Obviously this hat is a must.

 

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Volumptuous Peeohple

 

I feel like this is the season for bonding, so I’m going to tell you an important step to going from Acquaintance, Person I Like, or Person Who Is Allowed to Buy Me Coffee to WE ARE FRIENDS NOW.

 

 

You gotta be willing to hate along with me.  And you’ve got to be on board with my reasons.

 

Mean Girls "you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong

 

Now, this is not a requirement for fans, so if your goal is to continue to read my blogs and have me love you to bits for reading the words that I blurt out into the ether, don’t stress this next bit. But if you want to actually sit next to me while I drink that coffee, or really just keep up with my in-person conversations?

 

Yeah, this is a thing.

 

This is how my friend Audrey learned the rule:

 

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